Men don't get injured
by SussiRay
Summary: Hotch has pulled his back and Emily's taking care of him... Something that turns out to be a really challenging task... Number 6 in "Men don't"!


**Men don't get injured**

**A/N: This is just a short little thing that popped into my head. Hope you all like it!**

"He fouled me!" Hotch exclaimed his deep voice tinged with badly disguised pain.

"Honey, he's _Reid_. He saw you coming and he panicked." Emily calmly told him while trying to suppress the smile that was slowly breaking out.

They were driving home from what was supposed to have been a relaxing day at the park with the rest of the team. Emily was for once in the driver's seat as the relaxing day had turned into something else entirely. During a team soccer game Hotch had managed to pull his back. Falling over Reid.

_~~~~flash-back~~~~_

"What do you say we make this _a bit_ more interesting?" Morgan suggested cocking an eyebrow and kicking the soccer ball that JJ had brought at Hotch.

"What do you have in mind?" Hotch tentatively asked kicking the ball back.

"Let's play some four a side. Loser does all the winner's paperwork for a month." Morgan gave Hotch a wide smile. "I'll even let you choose the first team mate." He said patting Hotch reassuringly on the shoulder.

"You're on. And _you_ can choose first, I don't mind." Hotch shot back returning Morgan's smile.

They quickly gathered the rest of the team together with Will and Kevin. The only protests came from Garcia and Reid. Garcia who was _very_ vocal in her resistance was eventually promised the role of cheerleader. Reid wasn't as lucky.

"Alright, then I'll go first." Morgan said looking at Hotch who nodded his consent. "I choose Emily."

"Who? Me?" Emily asked looking at him in surprise.

"Yeah." Morgan answered Cheshire cat grin firm in place. "Then I'll have someone on my team that Hotch basically can't touch. It'll be like having one more player."

Eventually, after Morgan and Emily had persistently reassured Reid that he wouldn't get hurt, the game started. Morgan, Emily, Kevin and Reid on one side. Hotch, JJ, Will and Rossi on the other.

Garcia standing on the side lines managed beautifully to loudly support both teams at the same time.

Rossi managed to hit the ball once before appointing himself referee and walking off to sit in the shade.

And Morgan and Emily were successful in keeping Reid away from the ball.

The game was flowing on great.

Then it all happened very fast. Reid wandered into the middle of the field. Hotch had the ball and came running towards him. With wide eyes and a squeal Reid quickly turned around. A move that Hotch didn't anticipate and that resulted in Hotch tumbling over Reid and landing with a loud thump on his back.

* * *

"Okay, here we are. Now stay put and I'll come and get you. I'll just put the picnic basket away first." Emily told Hotch giving him a stern look. She knew that he was going to try and do everything himself. He'd even insisted on continuing on with the game. After five minutes of hobbling around he'd grudgingly admitted defeat.

Hotch looked out the side window. Emily was just being silly and overly careful. It wasn't like he'd broken anything. He just had a slight twinge in his back and it hurt a little when he walked. No biggie. He was perfectly able to do something as simple as getting out of the car on his own.

Emily was almost at the door when she heard a muffled grunt and a string of expletives behind her. Quickly turning around she saw Hotch bent over the hood of the car breathing heavily.

"What did I tell you?" She asked as she wrapped an arm around his waist carefully pulling him against her. "You promised to be careful and let me help you. And in return I promised not to drag your ass to the hospital."

"And I said that I didn't need to go to the hospital." Hotch shot back. "I'm... _oh_... perfectly... _uh_... fine." He huffed walking into his apartment.

"Yeah, if fine means limping around like you're 100 years old." She smiled and eased him down onto the couch. "Now sit here and let me take care of you."

"So, you'll be my nurse?" Hotch asked raising an inquisitive eyebrow at her. "Do you maybe have an outfit to go with that vocation?"

"I might." She smiled back at him. "But you're _not_ getting a visit from the slutty nurse today. We don't want you to strain something else, do we?"

"No." Hotch grumpily admitted.

"Aw, poor baby." She chuckled and patted his thigh. "Now you stay here while I go and prepare something to eat."

Hotch leaned back on the couch and watched Emily disappear into the kitchen. He tried getting comfortable. He knew he had heaps of paperwork that needed to be done. He knew exactly where it was too. It was in the bedroom on the floor. He had started doing it earlier but Emily had distracted him the best way she knew how. The best way he knew how. And he never got the chance to finish doing that paperwork.

Maybe if he was really careful he could go and get it finished before Emily got back. It's not like he's an invalid. He could definitely walk the short distance to the bedroom. Then he'd just get the paperwork done and be back before Emily would notice anything. As simple as that.

* * *

"I changed my mind on the whole cooking thing. What do you want? Pizza or..." Emily stopped mid-sentence as she walked into the living room and found that Hotch was no longer where she'd left him ten minutes earlier.

"Aaron!" She called looking around the room.

A muffled sound came from the bedroom and Emily hurried over. As she entered she found Hotch sitting on the floor clutching his back.

"Oh, _here_ you are." She gave him a reprimanding glare quite similar to one of his own. "And _not_ on the couch where you were supposed to be...resting."

"I just wanted to do some paperwork. To get it out of the way. It was all on the floor after earlier today so I got down on the floor and well... now I can't get up." He looked up at her with his best puppy dog eyes.

"I should just leave you there." She frowned at him. "But I won't because you look so sad sitting down there and I don't want you hurting yourself more trying to get up."

Pulling him up she pulled him into her arms and gave him a light hug before leading him back to the couch.

"Now let's get some food and then I'm taking you to bed. To sleep."

* * *

A strange noise pulled Emily from the depths of sleep. A sort of huffing or maybe puffing. She shook her head trying to shake the sleepy fog away and determine whether it was real or just in her head. She threw out her hand patting the side of the bed where Hotch usually slept. It was empty.

Then she noticed the faint light coming from the bathroom. First she thought that maybe he'd just had to pee and she could understand why he didn't ask for her help with _that_. But as the minutes wore on and Hotch didn't reappear she got worried. Maybe he had hurt himself more.

That worry faded however when she opened the bathroom door and found Hotch standing hunched over the sink trying to shave.

"What are you doing?" She asked tiredly.

"Getting ready for work." Hotch answered through gritted teeth.

"It's five in the morning!"

"Well I thought that I'd probably be needing a little longer getting ready." He smiled a tight smile at her. "And as it turns out I was right."

"Do I have to tie you to the bed?" She asked exasperatedly. Then noticing Hotch's dark eyes widening she added. "Oh not like _that_ you big pervert." She wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss on his back. "Okay, you know what. I'll make you a deal."

"A deal is what got me here in the first place, remember." Hotch cut her off.

"I know..." Emily smiled. "I was there when you cavemen turned a lazy day in the park into a pissing contest." She shot him an amused look. "Now hear me out. I'll go and get you your suit and tie. _If_ you can put it on without wincing or groaning or huffing or making any other sex related noise you can go to work. But if you utter any kind of noise then you have to go back to bed and rest!"

Emily swiftly made her way to Hotch's closet completely confident that this was a bet she'd never lose. She took out one of his perfectly pressed dark blue suits, a crisp white shirt and his favorite red tie and handed it to him. Then she looked on with a smiling twinkle as he struggled to pull the shirt on. But to her surprise he did finally manage to pull it on without even making the tiniest sound. She did however notice that the shade of red his face was turning was matching his tie perfectly.

Hotch was nothing if not determined and he managed to button every single little button and he managed to tie the red tie. Albeit not in a quite as flawless knot as usual. He carefully pulled on the suit jacket and looked at Emily with a triumphant smile.

"There." He gave her a tight smile. "I get to go to work."

"Uh, Honey..." Emily smiled at him. "Don't you think that people will be a little surprised if the normally so well dressed Agent Hotchner shows up without his pants?" She glanced down at his bare legs and let out a small giggle.

"Oh fuck it! I give up. I surrender." Hotch exclaimed and threw out his hands wincing as his sore muscles took the hit.

"I'm glad you finally see it my way." Emily smiled as she carefully led him back to bed.

"I do." He sighed as he slid under the covers. "I'll stay here _the whole_ day. I promise."

"Good..." She bent down and placed a light kiss on his lips. "Who knows..." She smiled and ran a finger along his arm. "When I get back from work you might just get a visit from that slutty nurse."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Please let me know if you liked it!**


End file.
